Thursday, May 21. Daniel and Ines were ready to go back to their house in La Pista. The onions were planted; the patuju was cut along the road; the work for the day was finished. They would return tomorrow. But now it was around 6 o’clock and getting dark. Their two school-aged children, Gustavo and Grabiella, were waiting for them. They mounted the motor bike with 3 year old, Aiden, and 14 month old, Graciela. Travelling to and from the chaco was much easier since they purchased the moto a year and a half before.
It was dark and the first part of the road required concentration since there were many potholes and bumps. Daniel was not a confident driver but took great care when driving. They continued on through Patujusal 1 where the road was more solid, although very narrow.
In front of them they saw the lights of the micro, bringing the people from Yapacani after their day of shopping. Behind them they noticed other lights, probably a truck filled with rice.
***********
No one knows what really happened next. Many people have their stories. It seems that the micro passed and Daniel kept to his side of the road. Somehow he lost control of the moto and it, with all its passengers fell onto the road. The large truck with the rice continued down the road. Did the driver see the family? The road is very narrow, the grass is very tall, and there were the lights of the micro shining down the road. But Daniel and Ines and little Graciela were no more. The truck had driven over their heads. Aiden lay on the side of the road.
************
Ten o’clock at night someone banged vigorously on the door. Finally, Jake woke up and realized someone wanted this attention.
“There has been a terrible accident, very serious. Daniel is dead. Would you please go down the road and pick up Mario and Cecilia and Justino and his wife. I will go ahead and tell them to get ready. And Francisco is fishing. Someone needs to find him, also,” said a shocked and shaking German Diaz. German took the unpleasant task of telling Daniel’s two sisters and his brother that Daniel was gone. Jake picked up the families and drove them to the site of the accident.
Members of the community has secured the site and covered the heads with blankets. German’s wife, Carmen, a shy young woman, made sure that no one messed up the tracks. Someone took young Aiden into the hospital in La Pista.
Nearly one hundred people milled around waiting for the police to arrive from Yapacani. When they arrived, they performed the normal procedures for an accident – took pictures and looked around a little – none of the detailed inspections we expect. Since there were no witnesses at the scene no one could say exactly what happened. However, somehow someone knew what truck was involved.
After the police did their work, the gory task of loading the bodies on to the truck needed to be done. Someone took the hands, the other the feet, and placed the bodies on a blanket. Then the using the four corners, the bodies of Daniel and Ines were placed in the back of the truck with little Gracelia between them. No such things as body bags. Jake, along with the families, drove the bodies into the hospital in Yapacani, arriving at about 3 in the morning.
Jake went to our house in Yapacani while the family took care of the details. Unlike North America, the door to the morgue remains open and the family is able to see what is happening.
******************
It was noon and I was walking down the street in Cochabamba. I had just finished classes and was going for a walk when my cell phone rang. It was someone saying that Jake wanted to talk to me. He told me about the accident. I immediately went to my house, grabbed a few essentials, and caught a taxi to Yapacani – a five hour ride.
Meanwhile, Jake was getting pieces of the story. The truck belonged to the son-in-law of a farmer from Tarumá, whose name is Paulino Moreda. Rumor says that the driver of the truck was drunk but the Moredas say that this is not true.. That charge is very common in an accident. The truck was at Km. 35 when the police arrived. The driver was jailed, another common occurrence when an accident happens.
Mr. Moreda is a gentle conscientious man, a good farmer, and a fellow believer. He does his best to help the communities in which he farms. He also did his best to help the family. Jake and a friend of Mr. Moreda purchased the coffins and delivered them to the hospital. The intention was that Jake would then drive them back to the farm of one of Daniel’s sisters in Patujusal. However, the put the coffins on a rice truck instead and Jake waited for me to arrive from Cochabamba.
*********************
Saturday morning we arrived at the home of Gregorio, the brother-in-law of Daniel. Already many people were gathered to pay their respects. Some had been there all night. Gregorio left for Yapacani to meet with lawyers and to ensure that the driver did not get out of jail on bail.
I tried to console some of the relatives, especially Ines’ brother and sister-in-law, Felipe and Erselia. They had lost their son a couple of years ago so this was especially hard on them. I sat with Erselia and Felipe’s other sister. Their desire was to visit Daniel and Ines’ house so the truck was filled with people and the trip was made. Will we ever understand the Bolivian customs surrounding death? No. But we also do not feel that we have the right to criticize and judge them. Many tears were shed and candles were lit and positioned by the beds. After some time everyone returned to the house for lunch.
The afternoon wore on. The nichos were being built in La Pista and nothing could happen until they were ready. Conversation swirled around, mostly about the accident, the truck driver, and the responsibilities of the Moredas. It soon became clear that no matter what the Moredas would do, it would never be enough. The food, the drinks, the meat, paying all the funeral expenses were all given and yet some expected that he should be catering to them; that his family should be doing all the work and they be the guests.
********************
Although this is the fourth funeral we have attended and in which we have participated, we still do not what is ‘normal’. Since Daniel and Ines did not attend church we did not want to interfere with the traditions and wishes of the family. However, Mr. Moreda made it clear that we were to be part of the service since we were an important part of the faith community. So we, along with a young man from La Pista, led a short service. We were told that Daniel and Ines ‘used to believe’ and should, therefore, have a Christian burial. There was no Catholic, only traditional, influence. Although the family expected Mr. Moreda to coordinate the service, some soon took over and did their own thing in the midst of what was planned.
After the service the coffins were loaded onto our truck and that of the Moredos. The people piled into two farms trucks and we all drove the hour’s drive to La Pista for the internment. I read Psalm 23 and prayed for the families, the communities, the truck driver and for the Moredas. I knew that this was not the custom but I felt that we had to show our love for everyone.
Then it was time to put the coffins in the nichos but first all the hardware and the handles had to be removed. Since the bodies were not fit to be viewed, the caskets remained closed and the older members of the family were not able to put their parting gifts inside. Instead these gifts were stuffed in the nichos. Then the bricklayers closed the front of the nichos. During this time the people chatted and drank soda pop. We couldn’t help but comment on the disorganization and confusion that takes place at these funerals.
*****************
Sometimes we wonder why we are invited to be part of these very personal events in people’s lives. Sunday there was no church since some people had gone to Yapacani and the others were still at Gregorio’s house. More traditions, more food. I spent the morning with some of the women of the community. We peeled the vegetables and prepared the midday meal. Jake returned to the Daniel and Ines’ house and had a more interesting experience. First, the people took everything out of the house. The beds were dismantled and placed under a tarp in front of the house. Everything was swept out. After water was sprinkled on the beds they were returned to the house. All the kitchen utensils, the tools, and everything that could be carried was loaded onto the truck and taken to the river to be washed. At the same time another truck of household utensils, farm equipment and clothes was also taken to the river for washing. After this traditional washing, everyone returned to Gregorio’s house for a meal.
Late in the evening the family would burn the old clothes and belongings. We are not sure why this is done but it is part of their tradition. We did not stay for this but instead returned home since we would be back early in the morning to pick up Filipe, Erselia, their five children and the three new members of their family.
Gustavo, Grabiella and Aiden will make their home with their aunt and uncle for now. They will live in Yapacani and attend school there. Ines had said that if she died she wanted Erselia to bring up her children. Erselia said the same to Ines. Erselia takes this commitment very seriously. Although she has a vegetable stand in the market in Yapacani she will give that up so that she can raise the children. Daniel’s sister, Cecilia, lives very close so she will help. We are thankful that these two families, Ines brother and Daniel’s sister, are willing to raise these children.
(Photos to follow when I get to the city)
It was dark and the first part of the road required concentration since there were many potholes and bumps. Daniel was not a confident driver but took great care when driving. They continued on through Patujusal 1 where the road was more solid, although very narrow.
In front of them they saw the lights of the micro, bringing the people from Yapacani after their day of shopping. Behind them they noticed other lights, probably a truck filled with rice.
***********
No one knows what really happened next. Many people have their stories. It seems that the micro passed and Daniel kept to his side of the road. Somehow he lost control of the moto and it, with all its passengers fell onto the road. The large truck with the rice continued down the road. Did the driver see the family? The road is very narrow, the grass is very tall, and there were the lights of the micro shining down the road. But Daniel and Ines and little Graciela were no more. The truck had driven over their heads. Aiden lay on the side of the road.
************
Ten o’clock at night someone banged vigorously on the door. Finally, Jake woke up and realized someone wanted this attention.
“There has been a terrible accident, very serious. Daniel is dead. Would you please go down the road and pick up Mario and Cecilia and Justino and his wife. I will go ahead and tell them to get ready. And Francisco is fishing. Someone needs to find him, also,” said a shocked and shaking German Diaz. German took the unpleasant task of telling Daniel’s two sisters and his brother that Daniel was gone. Jake picked up the families and drove them to the site of the accident.
Members of the community has secured the site and covered the heads with blankets. German’s wife, Carmen, a shy young woman, made sure that no one messed up the tracks. Someone took young Aiden into the hospital in La Pista.
Nearly one hundred people milled around waiting for the police to arrive from Yapacani. When they arrived, they performed the normal procedures for an accident – took pictures and looked around a little – none of the detailed inspections we expect. Since there were no witnesses at the scene no one could say exactly what happened. However, somehow someone knew what truck was involved.
After the police did their work, the gory task of loading the bodies on to the truck needed to be done. Someone took the hands, the other the feet, and placed the bodies on a blanket. Then the using the four corners, the bodies of Daniel and Ines were placed in the back of the truck with little Gracelia between them. No such things as body bags. Jake, along with the families, drove the bodies into the hospital in Yapacani, arriving at about 3 in the morning.
Jake went to our house in Yapacani while the family took care of the details. Unlike North America, the door to the morgue remains open and the family is able to see what is happening.
******************
It was noon and I was walking down the street in Cochabamba. I had just finished classes and was going for a walk when my cell phone rang. It was someone saying that Jake wanted to talk to me. He told me about the accident. I immediately went to my house, grabbed a few essentials, and caught a taxi to Yapacani – a five hour ride.
Meanwhile, Jake was getting pieces of the story. The truck belonged to the son-in-law of a farmer from Tarumá, whose name is Paulino Moreda. Rumor says that the driver of the truck was drunk but the Moredas say that this is not true.. That charge is very common in an accident. The truck was at Km. 35 when the police arrived. The driver was jailed, another common occurrence when an accident happens.
Mr. Moreda is a gentle conscientious man, a good farmer, and a fellow believer. He does his best to help the communities in which he farms. He also did his best to help the family. Jake and a friend of Mr. Moreda purchased the coffins and delivered them to the hospital. The intention was that Jake would then drive them back to the farm of one of Daniel’s sisters in Patujusal. However, the put the coffins on a rice truck instead and Jake waited for me to arrive from Cochabamba.
*********************
Saturday morning we arrived at the home of Gregorio, the brother-in-law of Daniel. Already many people were gathered to pay their respects. Some had been there all night. Gregorio left for Yapacani to meet with lawyers and to ensure that the driver did not get out of jail on bail.
I tried to console some of the relatives, especially Ines’ brother and sister-in-law, Felipe and Erselia. They had lost their son a couple of years ago so this was especially hard on them. I sat with Erselia and Felipe’s other sister. Their desire was to visit Daniel and Ines’ house so the truck was filled with people and the trip was made. Will we ever understand the Bolivian customs surrounding death? No. But we also do not feel that we have the right to criticize and judge them. Many tears were shed and candles were lit and positioned by the beds. After some time everyone returned to the house for lunch.
The afternoon wore on. The nichos were being built in La Pista and nothing could happen until they were ready. Conversation swirled around, mostly about the accident, the truck driver, and the responsibilities of the Moredas. It soon became clear that no matter what the Moredas would do, it would never be enough. The food, the drinks, the meat, paying all the funeral expenses were all given and yet some expected that he should be catering to them; that his family should be doing all the work and they be the guests.
********************
Although this is the fourth funeral we have attended and in which we have participated, we still do not what is ‘normal’. Since Daniel and Ines did not attend church we did not want to interfere with the traditions and wishes of the family. However, Mr. Moreda made it clear that we were to be part of the service since we were an important part of the faith community. So we, along with a young man from La Pista, led a short service. We were told that Daniel and Ines ‘used to believe’ and should, therefore, have a Christian burial. There was no Catholic, only traditional, influence. Although the family expected Mr. Moreda to coordinate the service, some soon took over and did their own thing in the midst of what was planned.
After the service the coffins were loaded onto our truck and that of the Moredos. The people piled into two farms trucks and we all drove the hour’s drive to La Pista for the internment. I read Psalm 23 and prayed for the families, the communities, the truck driver and for the Moredas. I knew that this was not the custom but I felt that we had to show our love for everyone.
Then it was time to put the coffins in the nichos but first all the hardware and the handles had to be removed. Since the bodies were not fit to be viewed, the caskets remained closed and the older members of the family were not able to put their parting gifts inside. Instead these gifts were stuffed in the nichos. Then the bricklayers closed the front of the nichos. During this time the people chatted and drank soda pop. We couldn’t help but comment on the disorganization and confusion that takes place at these funerals.
*****************
Sometimes we wonder why we are invited to be part of these very personal events in people’s lives. Sunday there was no church since some people had gone to Yapacani and the others were still at Gregorio’s house. More traditions, more food. I spent the morning with some of the women of the community. We peeled the vegetables and prepared the midday meal. Jake returned to the Daniel and Ines’ house and had a more interesting experience. First, the people took everything out of the house. The beds were dismantled and placed under a tarp in front of the house. Everything was swept out. After water was sprinkled on the beds they were returned to the house. All the kitchen utensils, the tools, and everything that could be carried was loaded onto the truck and taken to the river to be washed. At the same time another truck of household utensils, farm equipment and clothes was also taken to the river for washing. After this traditional washing, everyone returned to Gregorio’s house for a meal.
Late in the evening the family would burn the old clothes and belongings. We are not sure why this is done but it is part of their tradition. We did not stay for this but instead returned home since we would be back early in the morning to pick up Filipe, Erselia, their five children and the three new members of their family.
Gustavo, Grabiella and Aiden will make their home with their aunt and uncle for now. They will live in Yapacani and attend school there. Ines had said that if she died she wanted Erselia to bring up her children. Erselia said the same to Ines. Erselia takes this commitment very seriously. Although she has a vegetable stand in the market in Yapacani she will give that up so that she can raise the children. Daniel’s sister, Cecilia, lives very close so she will help. We are thankful that these two families, Ines brother and Daniel’s sister, are willing to raise these children.
(Photos to follow when I get to the city)
4 comments:
How very sad and confusing for everyone. Our prayers are with all of you and each of you, especially you and Jake.
Hi you two, and all other readers:
I have just read your entries for May and must say I am disappointed with you in the dilemma in which you find yourselves. As you may know, Alex and I have dealt (on a much shorter term) with similar issues when doing short term missions. What we envision and expect is often so different from what others expect. And language and cultural barriers are huge. So I pray that the God of ALL wisdom will undergird you and your efforts. That He will give you wisdom daily and hourly and that you will be encouraged by some thing each day. May He open your eyes and the eyes of others to see His purpose. Even a daily little ray Lord, can go so far.
Prayer
Understanding
Realness
Patience
Omnipotence
Surrender
Encouragement
Johanna
I'm heart-sick about this. What a shock and grief for the community to bear!
Is Aiden expected to fully recover, physically?
Without keeping up her vegetable stand, will Erselia be able to support her new family?
We'll make sure to lift this situation in prayer on our end. And you and Jake too, as you (once more) try to navigate the grieving process in another culture. May God bring his peace to the sorrow.
Thanks for taking the time to post this. You were featured today at Missionary Blog Watch. Hopefully more people will be prompted to pray.
Post a Comment